Sunday, February 17, 2013

Would CRAZY cover it?

I think I'm going crazy.

Or maybe I already am.

Yesterday I saw the book, Beautiful Disaster by Jamie McGuire on Booksale. I grabbed it. And paid for it. Along with other books. 
I haven't read any Linda Lael Miller. It's just so cheap and it's a series so I bought them :) It's going to be my first Harlequin read.

My mind said NO, you don't have money. But my hands were doing totally different things. I went out of the store with 4 books in hand. I had used my mother's money to buy the books, which were meant for some burgers and juice. Guilt-stricken, I went straight to the ATM and withdrew cash. Guilt washing away, I only returned half of the money I spent. Burgers aren't that expensive when they're from Jollibee anyway.

So where does crazy come in?

I've read Beautiful Disaster last December. It might not be that great, but I read it during an emotional low, that reading the book made me happy. I didn't fall in love with the guy (Channing Tatum/Derrek Ramsay, too bald and masculine for my taste!), but I did like the character, and his family. Okay okay.. moving on. I went a little fangirly after that. And the there was the cover-reveal of Walking Disaster, which is basically the SAME STORY but from another point of view. Not too interested but a fangirl (at that moment) can only squeal. And Warner bought the rights (or options?) for the movie! But then I had to move on. I read a couple of books after that. Then I came across this book called Requiem. The cover looked scary, the title was intriguing, so without even taking a glance at the synopsis or reviews, I read it. Some parts made no sense but I read it until the end. And I liked it. And I looked it up online only to find out it was the second book of a trilogy! Now that makes sense! :) So I read the entire trilogy and that was the first time I actually finished a paranormal series. An angel-themed series anyway (I don't know if I should still consider Twilight and I've read Torment but I stopped on the 3rd book). I got so emotionally invested in the book that I kept on thinking what I would have done if I were in Nina's place (did I just say emotionally invested?*.*). So I did more Googling when I realized that the Providence Series (okay, that's what its called) is actually written by Jamie McGuire. Oooh Jamie I love you! You sparked my love for YA Paranormal!

Wait, where does crazy come in again?

I've actually been saving money. My goal is to reach the amount by the middle of March. I've been saving to get to my goal but look, I've been spending on something that I don't really need. But I love Jamie McGuire. Sue me.

And to add to my savings, I've been selling my books. Which I don't really advertise because I'm secretly wishing no one buys them. When I mailed the first book, a hardcover bargain find of Khaled Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns, it wasn't that heartbreaking (but I was tempted to remove the jacket for keepsake). But when I was wrapping my John Gray's Men are from Mars... and Mars and Venus in Love, I felt really really bad. I haven't read those books, I just kept them so that I can say, 'yeah, I have that at home', but never actually read them, didn't even stamp my name on them. I was so sad I had to ask myself if it was worth it. Sending away my books for money. I felt like a mom prostituting her kids! That bad. I told my mother about how I felt and we ended up fighting. She told me that if I tried looking for a job this wouldn't even be happening. Well I don't want to work! Not now, at least. Give me a month and a half more and I'll work my butt off.

I cried that night. Really. My mother and I fought again that evening because she asked me to go with her somewhere, but I wouldn't. Bad day just because I sold 2 books.

So, am I crazy? 
I talk a lot of nonsense. 
I don't have money but I still buy things I don't really need. 
I want to buy something and I save up for it and I know I wouldn't be able to buy it anyway, not in the next 45 days. 
I sell my books but hope no one buys them. 
When someone actually buys them, I get emotional (oh there's that word again!).

I think maybe everyone has their own degree of craziness lurking somewhere. Mine is just not lurking anymore. It's fighting it's way out!

But I hope someone buys my House of Night set. I hate it. Without thinking I bought first 9 books! Anyone?

And I have 2 copies of Betrayed. Don't ask me why!

Friday, February 15, 2013

I almost forgot!

Today is the anniversary! Well, no celebrations, but here's something for you. Take a bite! I did that yesterday :D Valentine's Day celebration with myself :) And I ate one while my cousins and I were video chatting via Skype. 

First bite for Kuya, next for Meg, then Nica. :) And then they showed me their chocolates and flowers.
Good for them. :)

My friend K sent me a text warning me about not going outside because I might see the dating couples everywhere. Too late. We sent my brother to school (boy scout camping) that night. And yes, there were a lot of couples everywhere. And every corner, I could see heart balloons. It was crazy. For me, at least. And anyway, I needn't go out to the streets to see the couples smooching. It was all over my Facebook timeline.
Well again, good for them! :)

Happy Two to me!
< 3,

K also said that love comes when you least expect it. So she added, "don't expect".

ooowkay k!

Sunday, February 10, 2013

5 more days!

And this blog'll be TWO!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to ME and FrostedComet ;-)




No news or giveaways of sorts. Just this. :D

Happy browsing everyone!

< 3,

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Of ends and beginnings.

First off, let me say this:

HAPPY 2013!
I felt like I had a lot of things going on at the same time so I kept myself busy these past few weeks. By busy, I mean crocheting, cooking, and reading. The main goal was to keep my anxiety out.

While everybody else was busy with their resolutions, as usual, I had none prepared. I try to live with the mantra, one step at a time. With emphasis on try.

I thought new years were for new beginnings. Doesn't apply to all though. It was only a week into the new year and I've heard of four deaths. 

First was an uncle. We weren't close. Heck, I think he doesn't even know my name. But I knew him. And his children. And I cared. Because he went through the struggles of cancer.  And seeing how my cousin loved his dad so much, it hurt me too. I could never imagine my world without my father.

Then there was this lady lawyer friend who was a big inspiration. She along with others opened my eyes to alternative lawyering. And it was her who shared this to us, and I will never forget: the alternative law group 
are a group of swimmers swimming against the tide. And they call others to join them. There was more to it, and though it sounds like a cliche, at that time I first heard it, I felt like I have found my true calling. It's sad I won't be able to visit her wake. But I've said my prayers...

And then a Grand Aunt died. I loved her so much. Maybe because she was a lovable old lady. She died at 92. I thought she was going to live longer. I can't forget that time when she told me that she'd live long enough to see me get married. She'll be there on my wedding day. Oh well.

The latest one is my friend's father's death. We're not close, but somehow, I really feel sad. I feel sad for the sons and daughters who lose a parent at an early age. My greatest fear is to lose my loved ones. I don't know how I could handle that.

But death shouldn't be seen as sadness though. I think. It's the time when finally, those we love will live an eternity with our creator. They've left us behind but surely, they're in a much better place. Maybe the best place even, where one could ever be. There will always be pain, but everything will be healed in due time.

As for my 2013, I haven't seen past February. I only see a clouded future ahead. It's like I'm still hanging by a thread. And my bank account is dwindling. To start off, I think I need a job, ASAP.

and, when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.
Romeo and Juliet, William Shakespeare