I think I'm going crazy.
Or maybe I already am.
Yesterday I saw the book, Beautiful Disaster by Jamie McGuire on Booksale. I grabbed it. And paid for it. Along with other books.
|I haven't read any Linda Lael Miller. It's just so cheap and it's a series so I bought them :) It's going to be my first Harlequin read.|
My mind said NO, you don't have money. But my hands were doing totally different things. I went out of the store with 4 books in hand. I had used my mother's money to buy the books, which were meant for some burgers and juice. Guilt-stricken, I went straight to the ATM and withdrew cash. Guilt washing away, I only returned half of the money I spent. Burgers aren't that expensive when they're from Jollibee anyway.
So where does crazy come in?
I've read Beautiful Disaster last December. It might not be that great, but I read it during an emotional low, that reading the book made me happy. I didn't fall in love with the guy (Channing Tatum/Derrek Ramsay, too bald and masculine for my taste!), but I did like the character, and his family. Okay okay.. moving on. I went a little fangirly after that. And the there was the cover-reveal of Walking Disaster, which is basically the SAME STORY but from another point of view. Not too interested but a fangirl (at that moment) can only squeal. And Warner bought the rights (or options?) for the movie! But then I had to move on. I read a couple of books after that. Then I came across this book called Requiem. The cover looked scary, the title was intriguing, so without even taking a glance at the synopsis or reviews, I read it. Some parts made no sense but I read it until the end. And I liked it. And I looked it up online only to find out it was the second book of a trilogy! Now that makes sense! :) So I read the entire trilogy and that was the first time I actually finished a paranormal series. An angel-themed series anyway (I don't know if I should still consider Twilight and I've read Torment but I stopped on the 3rd book). I got so emotionally invested in the book that I kept on thinking what I would have done if I were in Nina's place (did I just say emotionally invested?*.*). So I did more Googling when I realized that the Providence Series (okay, that's what its called) is actually written by Jamie McGuire. Oooh Jamie I love you! You sparked my love for YA Paranormal!
Wait, where does crazy come in again?
I've actually been saving money. My goal is to reach the amount by the middle of March. I've been saving to get to my goal but look, I've been spending on something that I don't really need. But I love Jamie McGuire. Sue me.
And to add to my savings, I've been selling my books. Which I don't really advertise because I'm secretly wishing no one buys them. When I mailed the first book, a hardcover bargain find of Khaled Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns, it wasn't that heartbreaking (but I was tempted to remove the jacket for keepsake). But when I was wrapping my John Gray's Men are from Mars... and Mars and Venus in Love, I felt really really bad. I haven't read those books, I just kept them so that I can say, 'yeah, I have that at home', but never actually read them, didn't even stamp my name on them. I was so sad I had to ask myself if it was worth it. Sending away my books for money. I felt like a mom prostituting her kids! That bad. I told my mother about how I felt and we ended up fighting. She told me that if I tried looking for a job this wouldn't even be happening. Well I don't want to work! Not now, at least. Give me a month and a half more and I'll work my butt off.
I cried that night. Really. My mother and I fought again that evening because she asked me to go with her somewhere, but I wouldn't. Bad day just because I sold 2 books.
So, am I crazy?
I talk a lot of nonsense.
I don't have money but I still buy things I don't really need.
I want to buy something and I save up for it and I know I wouldn't be able to buy it anyway, not in the next 45 days.
I sell my books but hope no one buys them.
When someone actually buys them, I get emotional (oh there's that word again!).
I think maybe everyone has their own degree of craziness lurking somewhere. Mine is just not lurking anymore. It's fighting it's way out!
But I hope someone buys my House of Night set. I hate it. Without thinking I bought first 9 books! Anyone?
|And I have 2 copies of Betrayed. Don't ask me why!|